“SpongeBob SquarePants Battle for Bikini Bottom: Rehydrated” Review
Few cartoons define a generation the way that SpongeBob SquarePants defined the childhoods of late millennials and early zoomers. The show is almost ubiquitous, to the point of being arguably the single most popular meme template of all time. But in a world where licensed video games are often poor performing garbage, it is something of a small miracle that the 2003 game SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom was as good or as popular as it was. Many people who were kids around that time have fond memories of the game, and few games have seen similar success. Battle for Bikini Bottom has become something of an icon, akin to Lego Star Wars for kids of that era. Considering I was one of those kids, my interest was definitely piqued when it was announced the game would be receiving a modern remaster.
Even by 2003 standards, Battle for Bikini Bottom was something of a throwback. It follows in the tradition of the collect-a-thon 3D platformer, whose heyday was back in the Playstation 1 era. But covering that well-trodden ground proved to be a smart move by the developers, as the simple style lends itself well to young gamers and the many collectibles allows for varied challenge and solid re-playability. It worked for me well enough. I loved the game as a child and replayed many of the levels hoping to squeeze out another Golden Spatula or one of Patrick’s socks that I may have missed. All that said, the game feels positively archaic now, but as an adult I’ve found new enjoyment in this simple diversion.
While the game uses entirely new assets, Rehydrated feels like less a remake and more of a straight remaster of its predecessor. The story is the same: Spongebob, Patrick, and Sandy must collect Golden Spatulas from across Bikini Bottom’s many locations in order to defeat Plankton’s robot army. The levels, collectibles, controls, and other elements are almost entirely the same, however there are numerous graphical improvements as well as some smoothing out of rough edges. Colors are brighter, textures are more detailed and varied and certain elements have been expanded to make use of newer consoles’ processing power.
For example, grass, which was just a texture in the original, now has individual blades.
In addition, areas like Spongebob’s Dream, which were fairly sparse in the original, have received a complete aesthetic overhaul.
The character animations are much cleaner and easier on the eyes, in contrast to the comparatively ugly animations in the original. Many of the robot enemies have also had slight design updates to make them a little more visually interesting.
The gameplay on the other hand is pretty close to the original. The controls are a bit tighter, but there is still some of the clunkiness present in the original and other games of that era. While this might be frustrating in a more difficult game, it is fairly inoffensive in Battle for Bikini Bottom, and like many 3D platformers of that era, the jankiness of the controls and environments can often be exploited to the player’s advantage. Spongebob is still the best and most versatile character with his wide variety of bubble-based attacks. Sandy’s gamebreaking lasso has been reeled in a bit (at least compared to how I remember it) but is still a useful and unique part of her character. Patrick is by far the most clunky and feels the most out of place in the modern era.
Playing the game is still a blast. While it is no longer particularly challenging, it is a great way to relax and unwind after a long day. It’s bright, colorful, cheerful, and fun. Like the Lego games, Battle for Bikini Bottom provides just enough difficulty that one has to think a little bit in order to get anything done and finding the games many collectibles is still rewarding, but is rarely ever frustrating. Sand Mountain is still a bitch after all this years, however.
One element that has received a lot of praise is the boss fights. While many of them are a little too short, they make up for it with quantity and variety, each fight often designed to make use of a character’s particular ability. It is also nice to have a game with plenty of boss fights, as interesting bosses have seemingly gone the way of offline co-op, becoming an artifact of a bygone era.
Most of the cast of the show voices their characters, which is a great touch for fans. Notably absent are Clancy Brown (Mr. Krabs) and the late Ernest Borgnine (Mermaid Man). While Brown was not in the original either, both actors’ absences are felt across the game. Mr. Krabs has a lackluster, but serviceable sound-alike voice, but Mermaid Man’s replacement delivers one of the worst voice performances in recent memory. The dialogue sequences still work well at delivering a solid dose of the humor fans of the show have come to know and love.
In addition to the updates, the game also comes with a bit of new content in the form of a multiplayer horde mode. One can select from a larger variety of characters, all of whom play somewhat differently, but gameplay is simplified to a simple attack, jump, and aerial smash. Things start off very easy, but quickly grow more chaotic until the screen is so full of enemies my frame-rate dropped off a cliff. It’s a fairly basic, seemingly tacked-on mode but it could provide a nice diversion for younger gamers.
For all its faults, Battle for Bikini Bottom Rehydrated is a very good game. While it helps a lot if you like Spongebob, it’s bound to put a smile on just about anyone’s face with its simple but entertaining gameplay, silly humor, many easter eggs, and all around happy atmosphere. The game stands out in a time where video games are in an arms race to be the most dour, self-serious, and “mature” they can possibly be, and in a year as fucked up as 2020, it couldn’t be more welcome.
